Online diary of my pregnancy: originally written August 2017
In late June, I woke up at 5am, like usual, to coach the 6am CrossFit class at ANCHOR.
I've been feeling a little bit more tired than usual, and instead of springing out of bed, I am giving myself an extra 15 minutes of rest. No biggie, I live 5 minutes from work and since I am no longer drinking coffee in the morning, the 15 minutes is better spend with my eyes shut!
Today, I felt a little off, though. I woke up having full knowledge that I had a dream I had had a miscarriage. I've been having crazy vivid dreams over the past 3 weeks. I actually asked myself when I was coaching "what is my body trying to tell me" and "do I feel empty?"
As the morning progressed I perked up, and even convinced myself to do a 20 minute WOD including box jumps (I stepped), wall balls and rowing. I felt amazing after I was done and left to get to work at Align Health Centre.
I had a fully booked day, starting off with a new patient. Just as I was getting started with this patient, I felt a nauseous dizzy and odd sensation that caused me to step out of the room.
I was bleeding profusely.
I let out a silent scream, but in my slight disorientation I quickly pulled myself together and went back to attend to my patient.
About 5 minutes later, I knew that I was so worried about myself, that I would not be able to take effective care of this person if I was not OK. Although difficult, I stepped out of the room, and asked another practitioner to take over for me and decided to go to the hospital.
My team at Align and ANCHOR stepped up and covered my day which I was so thankful for. Sometimes, admitting you are unwell and need help is a hard thing to do - especially when you're the doctor.
The hospital was great with me. The nurses were comforting as I was visibly upset, and they got me in for an ultrasound within 30 minutes, but for those 30 minutes I was waiting, I was sure I was going to find out I had miscarried. I was mentally preparing myself to accept this, as it is a common occurrence under 12 weeks, and if this were the case it simply meant the fetus was not viable and my body was doing the right thing.
As I lay getting the ultrasound, the technician turned the screen towards me and showed me that everything seemed to be ok with the fetus!
I went back to the room, still waiting for the results of the cause of the bleed. It was a large subchorionic hematoma* in the gestational sac, but that the fetus was OK.
*more information on this here: https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/complications/subchorionic-bleeding.aspx
The recommendations for healing in my case was simply resting, and to let the body heal itself. This meant no workouts until I was cleared.
So, weeks 8-12 were spent doing very gentle yoga and lots of walks.
When I had my follow up ultrasound a few weeks later, it showed healing of the tear, and that the baby was healthy. Still feeling the effects of being vulnerable in these early stages of pregnancy, I slowly added back in movement at the gym - mostly consisting of body weight movements.
How I'm feeling //
Relieved that the baby is fine.
A little restless that I can't workout, but not upset.
Anxious to ensure that I heal properly.
I'm coaching the 6am and 8:30am classes at ANCHOR, and while getting up at 5am is not problem, towards the end of coaching the 6am class I feel ready to go back to bed. I am sneaking a nap in between classes, all the while doing some positive self talk "you will not throw up, you will not throw up" sometimes this works, other times - not so good. My coach cheering yell has turned into a coach cheering normal indoor speaking voice as anytime I get my heart rate up I feel like I will vomit.
Advice I've received //
I did not do anything to cause the subchorionic hematoma - it wasn't the workout that I did, or that my job is physical. While hematomas are not normal in pregnancy, they are common and most women who experience them go on to have healthy pregnancies.
Changes I've made //
No formal workouts until I am cleared.
How I'm eating //
The smell of eggs, vegetables and meat disgusts me. I can smell it 2 floors away!
I go through hours of not being able to eat, and then moments of rolling through the kitchen consuming every carb in sight (see picture above - a sign I made for a co-worker who left her bagel sitting unattended in the staff room!)
- Dr. Alli